Cross-Cultural Relationships

“This is way more complicated than I’d bargained for.”

“I don’t know if it’s the cultural differences or if we’re just not right for each other.”

“Is it normal for a mother-in-law to be THIS involved?”

“If we get married I can keep my Visa….but I don’t know if we’re ready to take this step”.

What is a Cross-Cultural relationship?

The most obvious definition of a cross-cultural relationship – or intercultural relationship – is two partners who come from different cultures. But what does it mean to “come from different cultures”?

Culture can mean many different things, including:

  • Nationality

  • Language

  • Religion

  • Ethnicity

  • Social Class

  • Upbringing

a unique experience

When two people from different backgrounds come into a relationship, it can be a stimulating and enriching experience. There is much to learn from each other, and the relationship can be an opportunity for learning and personal growth.

However, despite the many wonderful things that come with sharing your life with someone from a different background, things can sometimes get complicated.

When a couple has the right tools to work through difference - event those that seem to go deepest or seem “un-resolable”, it’s important pause, explore, get curious, and see where there may be room for growth and transformation.

However, without adequate tools and joint commitment to working through the inevitable challenges, over time the relationship may collapse or unravel,

Fees for Therapy
cross cultural couples therapy

common challenges

In my personal and professional experience of cross-cultural relationships, the problems that most often come up tend to be some version of the following:

  • Deciding where to live and make a home

  • Different ways of experiencing and expressing emotions

  • Navigating Visas, work permits, and international bureaucracy as a couple

  • Making decisions about how to raise children

  • Deciding how to honor and celebrate holidays and special events

  • Negotiating boundaries with extended family

  • Working through different interpretations of gender roles

  • Issues around racism, xenophobia and other forms of social marginalization

Cross-cultural couples therapy

Discussing intercultural issues with a therapist who is experienced in navigating the complex layers of cross-cultural relationships can be an important step towards ensuring you don’t get “stuck” in your differences.

In cross-cultural couples therapy we will create a safe space where we suspend judgment and explore differences with curiosity and compassion.

I can help you verbalize and explain things that you may never have had to articulate before – such as why it’s important for you to put up a Christmas tree or why you’re not ok with your in-laws’ un-announced visits.

An important part of cross-cultural counseling is identifying and working through the friction that comes up. We will work on conflict management skills to enable you to uncover and clarify your values, belief-systems and needs.

Through cross-cultural couples counselling I can also help you find greater understanding and intimacy, and guide you towards developing the ability to make joint decisions as a true partnership.

FIND OUT MORE

Read about my other Specialty Areas and my approach to Couples Therapy here.

If you’re interested in starting therapy make sure look at my FAQ page and Fees Page. If you’d like to work with me, be sure to check my availabilities at the top of the contact page.

You can also find me on Instagram or LinkedIn, where I mostly post content related to ecopsychology in Italy.