Grief Counseling

the human experience of bereavement

You may have lost a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a child. You may have been prepared for this loss, or perhaps it was sudden and unexpected. It may have been someone you loved dearly, or you may have had a strained relationship with them.

Or maybe it’s not a person that you lost: maybe it was a pet, or a beloved place, or maybe a way of life that is now lost forever.

Whatever the case may be, the bereavement process is painful and disorienting. One minute you think you’ve accepted your loss, the next you’re back to the crying and the yearning. You feel like you’ve reached the depths of despair, then you feel numb to everything. You accept that death is part of life, then you find yourself struggling to believe they’re actually gone. Feelings come rushing at you, wave after wave: sadness, anger, guilt, yearning, fear, anxiety, total numbness, and then it starts all over again. 

This is all part of the human experience of bereavement. 

Thankfully, there are some things that help us through these difficult times: we can draw comfort from friends and family, from our faith or spiritual beliefs, or from activities that give purpose and meaning to our lives.  For many people nature comes to the rescue with its quiet and knowing comfort.

With time, care and support we begin to feel that we are healing from our loss.

when should you seek therapy?

Although people tend to recover from a loss with time and support from loved ones, some find that they really struggle to cope with overwhelming sensations or may feel that they are stuck and unable to move forward.

In these cases a caring, attentive and experienced mental-health professional can help.

Below are some of the signs that you may benefit from extra support.

You are struggling with certain thoughts or feelings, such as:

• Overwhelming emotional pain

• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness

• Persistent and intrusive thoughts about illness, accidents and/or death

• Increased Anxiety or Panic Attacks

• Unrelenting Depression

• Lack of energy and motivation

• Persistent worries about your loved ones

• Thoughts that your life is meaningless

• Increased irritability 

• Confusion about who you are

• Uncertainty about your place in the world

• Feelings of worthlessness

• Suicidal thoughts

You or the people around you are concerned because your behaviour has changed in one or more of the following ways:

• You go to familiar places hoping to see your loved one

• You avoid people or places that remind you of the departed

• You have started to drink more and/or have turned to addictive behaviour, such as gambling or taking drugs.

• You have stopped looking after yourself.

• You frequently get angry at people

• You are increasingly withdrawing from social interactions

How grief counseling works

The key to effective grief counselling is to take things at a pace that feels right for you. We don’t have to focus on any particular subject – together we can decide what’s important for you to talk about and what you feel you need to process. 

If you want to talk about how much you miss what you’ve lost, you can tell me all about that. On the other hand, if you don’t want to name it at all, that’s ok too – perhaps even mentioning their name feels too painful or intense, so we can start with something else: when you are ready to talk about the more painful parts of your experience, I’ll be there to listen and I’ll help you move past the pain.

In grief therapy,  the issues that are usually addressed are:

• Coping with intense or complex thoughts and emotions

• Ensuring you are looking after yourself and your needs

• Discussing how you can help your children understand and cope with the loss

• Getting to a point where you can talk about and remember what you have lost without feeling overwhelmed by emotions

• Processing any unresolved issues you may have had with the departed

• Finding new meaning and purpose in life

• Accepting the unfairness of your loss

• Managing anxieties surrounding illness, death and dying

• Making difficult decisions about what has been left behind

• Managing any conflicts that may have emerged among your family members

• Coping with the fact that others may not understand the impact of your loss

• Figuring out what “moving on” looks like for you

If the loss is linked to a traumatic experience, we’ll also be sure to address that. Sometimes grief is complicated by the way a person died, the circumstances surrounding the loss, or the feelings of shock, helplessness, anger or fear that remain afterwards. In these situations, therapy can help you gently process what happened, while also making space for your grief and your relationship with what has been lost.

life on the other side of grief

Grief is not something we simply “get over” or leave behind - despite what others may ask or expect of us. Meaningful losses change us, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t find meaning and purpose and joy again. It just may feel different from before.

Over time, the pain may become less overwhelming, but the connection, memories and significance of what was lost can and should remain an important part of who we are.

There is no single right way to grieve, and there is no fixed timeline. Whether your loss is recent or something you have carried for many years, grief counselling offers a compassionate space to make sense of your experience, honour what mattered, and find your own way forward.

The process of grieving can also influence the way we see ourselves, our strengths, and our sense of personal worth — aspects that are deeply connected to self-esteem.

find out more

To learn more about therapy and my work, you can read about my other Specialty Areas and my approach to Individual Therapy here, and take a read through my profile.

If you’re interested in starting therapy make sure look at my FAQ page and Fees Page. And if you’d like to work with me, be sure to check my availabilities at the top of the contact page.

You can also read my blog and find me on Instagram or LinkedIn, where I mostly post content related to ecopsychology in Italy.